Stupid
by TerrifiedOfButterflies
Summary: Mostly Spayonder fluff. A little cursing, a little innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

Krayonder leaned into Specs, his hands running down her arms. His fingers gave her goosebumps through her camo-print uniform.

"Now with the Zapper T-3000, you're gonna get a little kick and your shot is going to veer a little right. So make sure you're aiming a little left," he said, as he moved her zapper into position, his hands on top of hers, "and brace yourself." Krayonder leaned forward, supporting Specs from behind. "Alright, give her a shot," he said.

Specs felt her finger tremble slightly. Focusing, she gave the trigger a quick tug. A blot of blue light exploded from the end of her gun, burning a hole in the target against the far wall. The butt of the gun rebounded back into her shoulder; for a moment Specs thought she might fall over. But there was Krayonder, holding her up.

"Great job Specs!" He released her from his arms and gave her a high five. The sound of their skin collided echoed around the empty gun range.

"Thank you for helping me practice, Krayonder," Specs said in her nasally voice. "I'm sure you had other plans on a Saturday."

"Me? Nah, man, I was just gonna watch a movie, or find some way to piss Taz off, I'm sure," he said, a big grin spread across his face. Specs couldn't help but smile when she saw Krayonder do it. He looked so cute, his canine teeth visible from between his upturned lips.

"Well, I appreciate it none the less," Specs said as she stowed her gun on the rack.

"Say, Specs, do you wanna go get something to eat?" Krayonder scratched the back of his head with one hand, the other buried deep in his pocket as he rocked back and forth.

"I'd love to. I heard there's going to be meat pies this evening."

"Sweet!" Krayonder's smile got even wider as the two walked out into the corridor. They chatted idly all the way to the Cafeteria, got their food, and sat down at a corner table. As they ate and talked, they filled the mess hall with laughter.

"So… you just left it?" Specs asked, giggling.

"I left it!" Krayonder threw his arms up in the air, and the two collapsed into laughter again.

Krayonder looked down, and saw Specs' hand resting on the table. Feeling a surge of confidence, he took it gingerly into his own. He gave her fingers a squeeze. Suddenly, Specs wasn't smiling anymore. She pulled her hand away and looked down at her lap.

"I… I have a boyfriend," she stammered.

Krayonder just looked at her. He felt his heart sink into his stomach. "A… a… boyfriend?" He felt like such a tool. "Here on the ship? Who is it?"

"No, back on Earth."

"Oh," he said. "I'm sorry, Specs. It was stupid of me to assume. You know what they say, Ass, you, me." He stood up, grabbing their trays. "I'll, uh… I'll see you later, man." He stormed off to the back of the hall, dropped their trays on the conveyor belt, and marched back towards the door. Specs just sat there, looking down. As Krayonder stormed past her and out of the cafeteria, she thought she saw him wiping gruffly at his eyes.

A few hours later, Specs sat on her bed in her room. She had finished crying, and was just holding a picture frame. Up had insisted on snapping a photo of everyone after the mission on Bug Planet. There was Taz, looking angry. Bug and February were holding hands… claws… something. And there was Specs. She was smiling at the camera, hands in her pockets. Seconds before the picture was taken, Krayonder had snaked his arm around her waist. After the flash, she had turned around to ask him why and all she saw was his back as he ran back to the ship. He was so confusing, that boy! Specs could solve almost any math or engineering problem in the Universe, but she couldn't figure out what Krayonder was playing at. She could guess, after dinner tonight, that he had… intentions, toward her. But that didn't make sense! He was funny, cute, brave, kind… how could he be interested in her?

She pushed her thick glasses up, and ran a finger through her frizzy red hair. How could anyone be interested in her?

"Computer, where is Ensign Krayonder at this moment?"

"Ensign Krayonder is in Holodeck Two," said a mechanical voice.

Specs nodded. Holodeck Two it was, then.

Within a few minutes, Specs arrived at the aforementioned holodeck. The doors slid open and Specs looked around. She seemed to be in an old American mechanic's garage, from the early 21st century. Greasy workbenches were littered with tools and oily rags. A red convertible was propped up in the middle of the room, and it seemed to have sprouted legs. Specs heard a thud and a loud swear.

"Owch! Uh, is someone there? Hello?" Krayonder's voice drifted out from beneath the vehicle. Specs walked over and stood next to the legs, drawing her hand across the hood of the car. She uttered a soft, "Wow." Krayonder rolled out from underneath the car. Wiping grease from his eyes, he looked up at her.

"Oh! It's, uh, you. Hey Specs," he forced a smile.

"It this a 1962 Ford Thunderbird?" she asked.

Krayonder lurched to his feet. "How did you know…?"

Specs walked around the car, inspecting the rearview mirror, seats, antenna… "She's in marvelous condition."

"Thanks," Krayonder said, "I didn't know you knew cars."

"Does she run?"

"I've been trying to get her run all week. Something's not clicking in the undercarriage, but I can't find it."

"Why not run a computer scan?"

"No way, I've done this all by hand. Old school. I put every piece together, painted her, buffed out the dents, made sure every detail was perfect. I want her to be perfect," he said, watching Specs as she studied the Thunderbird.

Specs took off her bulky vest, and rolled up her sleeves. She dropped down onto the rolling mechanics platform, technically called a "creeper," and slid underneath the car. "Ah yes, I see it. Hand me the socket modifier," she said as a pale hand appeared at Krayonder's feet. He handed her the tool. He could hear a series of whirrs and clicks as he felt his brow get warm with sweat.

"Be careful, man."

Handing the modifier back, Specs said, "Wrench."

Krayonder complied. With a few more gut-twisting clicks and clanks, Specs rolled out and stood up.

"Alright, that should do it. Turn her on."

"Are…are you serious?" Krayonder raced over the driver's side and slid into the seat, keys in hand. With a turn of his wrist, the car roared into life. A laugh exploded from his throat. "You did it!"

Specs smiled. "All you had was a few loose gears. Nothing an engineer couldn't spot."

Krayonder beamed at her, and Specs felt her heart jump a little. "Well climb in, mechanic! Let's take her out!"

"Where?" Specs asked, chuckling as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"This garage is situated in a small town in Nevada, not too far from an old American 1950's diner. Perfect place for a milkshake, right Specs?"

"Only if they have Strawberry," she smiled through her thick glasses.

Krayonder hit a button on the keychain and the outer garage door slid up. With a load roar, the red Thunderbird took off into the sun. Wind raced through their hair as they drove through the desert. The highway was mostly abandoned, with only a few other cars driving past. Everyone gaped at the car, which, according to the local calendar, hadn't been invented yet. Specs stuck her arm out into the air, watching the sun glint off her skin. She felt so free, so happy.

The car pulled into the dusty parking lot, the sound of early Rock'N'Roll drifting out through the Diner's open door. Krayonder jumped out of the car and ran to the other side. He pulled open Specs' door, and the redhead climbed out. "Thank you, sir," she said cheekily.

"My pleasure, miss," he replied, extending an arm. Specs took it, and the two walked inside.

They were seated at a booth, and soon a waitress appeared to take their order.

"I'd like a strawberry milkshake."

"And I'd like a chocolate milkshake and a basket of fries."

"Coming right up," she said, walking back into the kitchen.

"Krayonder, this is… magical. Thank you," Specs said.

"No problem dude. Thanks for fixing my baby."

The two sat in silence a moment, grinning stupidly at each other.

The waitress came back out with their food. Specs mumbled thank you as Krayonder dipped a fry into his milkshake.

"Krayonder, what are you doing?"

"What, you've never put a French fry into your milkshake before?"

"No! That looks appalling!"

"It's actually quite appealing," he said, chuckling at his own humor. "Come on Specs, try it. It works with strawberry too."

"I'd rather not."

Krayonder dipped a fry in the chocolate drink and held it out to her. "Come on, for me?"

Specs winced. "Well, alright."

"Open up."

She opened her mouth, and he put the fry in. As she chewed, a look of bliss came over her face. Krayonder smirked.

"Delicious, right?"

Specs nodded.

The two ate and laughed, enjoying each other's company. When they finished, Krayonder paid the bill with some holographic dollars, and the two left the restaurant right as the sun started to set. Krayonder opened Specs' door. She slid in, and he shut it gently before sliding across the hood and climbing into the driver's seat. The drive back was silent.

As the cherry red convertible pulled back into the garage, Specs climbed out before Krayonder could open the door again. She checked her watch. It was midnight. Specs felt a weight on her chest, the happiness of the night's shenanigans already fading.

"Um... Krayonder…" she said. "About dinner…"

"Don't worry about it Specs," he said as he closed the garage door, and began putting tools away.

"I feel that we should talk about it."

"And I feel that we shouldn't," he snapped. "I don't wanna talk about it, Specs. It doesn't matter."

"It does, Krayonder, it matters to me."

"Look Specs, clearly I was wrong. I thought… I thought we had something. A real connection, you know? I was wrong, it's nothing new. I'm always doing stupid things. That's all this was. Another Krayonder blunder."

"No, Krayonder, don't say that," Specs said, "You're one of the bravest men I know, it's just-"

"You have a boyfriend. Whatever."

"It's not that you're not great…"

"Please spare me the speech, Specs. Dead God, a fucking boyfriend? You've never mentioned him before! How do I know he's not just some scumbag?"

"Don't you dare say that!"

"I'm serious, does he even love you?" Krayonder could feel his heart breaking as rage welled up inside.

"Of course he does!"

"Does he, Specs? Does he know that your favorite color is purple? Does he know that when you were a kid you wanted to be a ballerina? Does he know that when you're doing math you bite your lip, and when you're working on engineering stuff you mumble to yourself? Does he love the way you look under the lights in the mess hall? Does he know that you hate carrots and love olives?"

Krayonder took a deep breath, and turned away. He looked back at Specs, biting his lip. "If I was brave like you think I am, I would have told you months ago. I love you, Specs. I love you more than any boyfriend back on Earth ever could. I know everything about you, and that's still not enough! I love the way you look when you're focused on a problem, I love the way you lean against things all the time. I love watching you work. I love the way you make me feel when we're together," he took a step closer to her.

"I love you enough to say all this and not run away even though it terrifies me. And," he said, "I love you enough that, if you ask me to, I'll leave right now and never see you again. If you can look me in the eyes, Specs, and tell me that you don't feel the same way, I'll leave right now." He reached up, and took off her glasses. He could see tears brimming in her beautiful hazel eyes. She squeezed them shut. Krayonder held the side of her face in his hand, tipping her chin up.

"Look at me. Specs, you amazing woman, look at me."

She opened her eyes and their gaze met. She couldn't stop tears from rolling down her cheeks.

"Say it. Say you want me to leave. Say something, anything!" He begged, his voice cracking.

"Krayonder, I-" That was all she got out before he kissed her. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, hand still cupping her jaw. Sparks flew as they melted together, kissing passionately. Krayonder broke for breath, his forehead pressed against hers. Specs found that her hands had moved to his sides, and his other hand had found the small of her back.

"Wow," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Specs. I thought… I thought you might actually tell me to leave. I couldn't… I can't-"

"I love you," she said. "You can be kind of stupid sometimes, Krayonder, and I should probably slap you for kissing me… but I love you. If you have the guts to say it… I don't have a boyfriend."

"You don't? Then… then why wouldn't you let me hold your hand in the mess hall?" Krayonder took a small step back, but kept his hand on her back.

"Because I didn't see what you could possibly see in me. I didn't want to get hurt."

"That's logical… I think. I never really understood logic."

"I've never really understood you. You're like a math problem I can't solve."

Krayonder laughed. "I like that."

"I thought you might."

"I love you, Specs."

"I love you, Krayonder."

They kissed again. Krayonder wrapped his arms around Spec's waist, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When they parted, they were both smiling stupidly. Krayonder's canines were showing as he chuckled mischievously. Before Specs could protest, he had thrown her over his shoulder and was marching down the hallway away from the holodeck.

"Krayonder! Put me down, where are we going?"

"It's after midnight, and you have work tomorrow. I'm returning you to your quarters and tucking you in."

"That is completely unnecessary!"

"I disagree," he said smiling. When they arrived at her quarters, he set her gently on her bed and turned to leave.

"Wait! Krayonder… don't go," she said. "Please stay."

"Specs, I-"

"I don't want to engage in coitus," she said, "But I don't want you to leave."

"Alright," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed next to her, "Give me a reason why I should stay."

Specs leaned over and kissed him. She pulled away and looked at the stupid, blissed-out look on Krayonder's face.

"That's why," she laughed. He took her hand in his.

"I'd love to stay the night. Here, with you. You're beautiful, Specs…" Krayonder said as he stroked her cheek with his free hand. Specs smiled, and kicked off her boots. After taking off all her belts and equipment, she slipped under the covers and moved to the far side of the bed. Krayonder smiled, took off his shoes and shirt, and climbed in after her. Specs on her left side, Krayonder on his right, they faced each other. Specs ran her fingers over his chest as he watched.

"You are… very attractive. Objectively speaking, of course."

"Of course," he said as he winked at her. Krayonder kissed her on the forehead and snaked one arm around her waist, pulling her close. Specs curled up against his chest, relishing the warmth of his skin against hers.

"Goodnight, Krayonder."

"Goodnight Specs. I love you," he whispered. He couldn't get enough of those words.

"And I you," she muttered sleepily. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep, happier than they could ever remember being. Both ensigns fell asleep with stupid smiles on their faces.


	2. Chapter 2

Stupid Part 2

The strength of his arms around her waist and the warmth of his breath on her neck were all Specs needed to fall into a deep sleep. Tonight, however, she would have to do without. Krayonder had recently been assigned the night shift as punishment for accidentally shooting Taz. To be fair, the bullet had ricocheted off of Up's robotic arm and into Taz, but somehow that didn't make it better.

Specs burrowed deep under her blankets, squeezing her eyes shut. It just wasn't the same. She and Krayonder had been dating for a few months now, and everything was going great. They spent their days hard at work, occasionally passing each other in the hallway with a wink or a kiss. They spent mealtimes in the cafeteria at a table with all their friends. Nights they spent alone.

They watched old movies, told each other stories… Sometimes Krayonder would invade the small kitchen in Specs' apartment and bake cookies. He was a surprisingly good cook. He knew that Snickerdoodles were Specs' favorite cookie, so he made those most often. Caring and considerate, Specs had never felt so happy in her life as the nights she spent with Krayonder. She had never doubted that she loved him, or that he would be a wonderful boyfriend. In fact, she knew he was a wonderful boyfriend. She had watched as he'd courted a shience officer last year, a girl by the name of Susanne. He'd even written a song about her and performed it in the mess hall at dinner. She was beautiful. Long raven hair, big blue eyes, and a body rivaled only by February's. Specs had spent a fair amount of time in her quarters crying. Ultimately, the girl had dated Krayonder for a few weeks, and then broken his heart. Specs and Krayonder were good friends by then, she spent as much time as she could talking to him in the halls, cheering him on at his basketball games, and eating with him in the cafeteria. Truthfully, she couldn't bear to see him so sad. Specs would do anything to make him smile, even if it meant "accidentally" dropping a socket wrench and bending over to pick it up. Krayonder would look at her ass, and when she stood up, he'd be smiling. She both loved and hated his apparent fixation with her backside. Nonetheless, their friendship slowly grew and developed, and had eventually turned into this.

While Specs had always had feelings for Krayonder, (it was hard not to, with those rock hard abs constantly on display; it was the mating call of the single man on a Starpship) he had only recently decided to act on his feelings for her. It had happened somewhere between Bug World and his break-up with Susanne... Specs had started wearing her hair down a little more frequently, they started spending time together. Every day, something about Specs surprised him! Maybe the color of her eyes would grab his attention from across a room, or maybe she'd quote his favorite movie. He couldn't stop himself from trying to get closer to her. He found excuses to stop by the lab where she worked. He'd sit by her in the cafeteria with the pretense of asking her a question, and then as their conversation turned more casual, he'd find excuses to stay there for over an hour, just talking. A part of him wondered if he'd always been a little in love with her, but an angrier, more masculine part of him wanted to crush that idea.

Then one day, while he was walking with some of the other guys from the Starship, all macho types, Susanne the shience officer had accidentally bumped into him. She giggled an apology and winked at Krayonder before walking away. The boys had all jostled him and laughed, but he was speechless. Of course she had a bangin' bod, and he supposed he himself was fairly attractive, but he'd never thought of dating anyone else. Not really, not when he thought about Specs.

But the guys wouldn't let it go. They bet him a thousand spacebucks he couldn't seal the deal with her, couldn't get her to actually date him. He had to work hard at, writing songs and all that romantic stuff. Susanne was picky, if she didn't like how he asked her out she'd tell him to wear a different tie and try tomorrow. Honestly, Krayonder hated her a little. She was hot, sure, but she was also vain and vindictive. Things with her were so complicated, everything had to be just the way she wanted it or she'd try and throw a chair through the window! Krayonder missed Specs. She'd been avoiding him for weeks, and he couldn't figure out why. He was sure that she knew he wasn't really interested in Susanne… right? Surely Specs knew he wasn't so shallow.

In the end, Susanne had broken up with him and the guys decided that they hadn't dated long enough to count as "sealing the deal." Krayonder was more upset at the waste of three weeks than he was at being dumped. He was actually quite relieved he didn't have to deal with her anymore. As he moped around, regretting the loss of a thousand space bucks, Specs quickly came back to him. He was glad to see her again, but he figured out that if he looked sad enough, sometimes she would give him a peek at that ass. He supposed it was wrong to imitate depression, but, come on… That ass!

So here they were. A few months later, and their relationship was all the better for it. He'd plucked up the courage to finally ask her out, and after some initial rejection they'd begun dating. The only problem was that they rarely got to see each other. Since Krayonder had been working nights, he'd been sleeping during the day. He and Specs would usually eat dinner together, but immediately afterwards he had to report for duty. So Specs was curled up in bed, missing him, feeling a phantom aching in her chest, and Krayonder was running drills with a bunch of new recruits, missing her, feeling like his arms were hollow. Shouting at the newbies made him feel a little better, of course.

"You call that a scissor kick? DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!" Krayonder shouted at a scrawny boy, no older than 19. The door behind him slammed open, and Taz stormed into the gym. Krayonder tried not to gasp or cry as she marched up to him.

"Candy ass! Get de hell outta here. I'm running this mission now." He saw the familiar gray mustache on her face and decided not to ask what Up had done this time. Taz needed to work off some steam by yelling at the grunts, and he sure wasn't gonna argue.

Krayonder raced out in the hallways. He knew which turns to take without even thinking about it. Soon he found himself panting outside of Specs' door. He pulled a key from his pocket and let himself in quietly. Krayonder crept slowly towards her bedroom, taking off his shoes, socks, and shirt. He snuck in, and heard a few quiet snores. He lifted up the covers and slipped in next to her. He wasn't really tired, but he didn't care. His arms found their place around her waist and he sighed happily, the smell of her shampoo wafting up his nostrils.

"…Krayondurr?" Specs muttered sleepily, turning slightly to look for him.

"I'm here. I got the night off. Go back to sleep, baby," he whispered. She looked into his eyes and smiled. He kissed her on the forehead, and she turned back around. Specs nestled into him, and Krayonder smiled for the first time all night. This was where he belonged, he knew it. He thought about the diamond ring hidden in his sock drawer. Maybe he would ask her sooner than he'd planned.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mr. Miyagi is such a badass," Specs said suddenly, pulling Krayonder's attention away from the movie. "Completely underappreciated in movie history," she said looking up at him, "I think we should start a fan association of some kind here on the ship."

Specs was, of course, referencing "The Karate Kid," a classic Earth movie she and Krayonder were watching in his quarters. She was twisting her fingers around Krayonder's absentmindedly; his arm was wrapped around her shoulders. She was curled up on the sofa beside him in her flannel pajama bottoms and white tank top, quite content to be spilling into his lap. She didn't feel the need for "personal space," not here, safe in his quarters (and his arms).

Specs and Krayonder had been dating for almost a year now. They were arguably Starship 15-A2's cutest couple, most of the arguing coming from February. However, they had their differences. While Krayonder liked to go dancing, Specs preferred to stay in. Ultimately, they had come to the agreement that Friday was for drinks and dancing at the local space bar and Saturdays were Specs' choice. Tonight was like many other Saturday nights; it involved a good movie, a good snuggle, and maybe a little making out as the credits rolled. For Specs, this combination felt like the perfect end to a long week of work, and nothing could have made her happier.

Krayonder stared at her, his mouth gaping. She nudged his jaw back into place with a finger, giving him a small smile. He just laughed. "You…I mean…" he said, dumbfounded. Suddenly, it rushed out of him. "Specswillyoumarryme?"

It was her turn to stare. "…What?"

Krayonder just chuckled. "Will you… marry me?"

"I… just… I…"

"That was probably, like, a little too sudden for your engineer's brain," Krayonder said, stupid grin plastered all over his face. He stroked her cheek softly. "Let me back up, explain my thinking."

After a few month of dating, Krayonder had realized that if he jumped tracks too quickly in conversation, Specs would have trouble responding. Hers was a logical brain, and his was, well, "spontaneous." He found it helped to go back and explain his rationale for the apparent change in topic.

"I think you are absolutely amazing," he said, gazing into her hazel eyes through a thick layer of glass. "You are smart, funny, kind, sexy, beautiful… you're everything! And I make a point to remind you of that all the deadgoddamn time. And then, I'm like sitting here, thinking life can't get any better, and then you say the absolute perfect thing to say! And I realize that I'm really, really stupid-"

"No you're not," Specs interjected, touching a hand to his chest.

"I would be really stupid to let you slip away from me. I tell you how smart-funny-kind-beautiful you are all the deadgoddamn time because I want to. I **want** to tell you those things every day for the rest of my life.

"And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that we've only been dating for a year, and that we're young, and we both have jobs that could get relocated at almost any time. And maybe you're thinking that I'm crazy… But I've realized something, Specs. I realize that telling you all those things every single day isn't good enough anymore. I want to show you, too. Like, with commitment, man.

"Do you understand what I'm, like, trying to say?"

Specs' eyebrows were deeply furrowed. She nodded, still a little hazy on where this was coming from. She didn't say anything.

"Ok," he said after a long pause, untangling himself from her. "I'm doing this all wrong. Stay right here, man, don't even move a muscle!" Specs watched as he raced back into his bedroom. She heard him rifling through drawers, cursing as he was apparently unable to find what he was looking for. Soon he came back into the small living area and stood in front of Specs, something clutched in his hand.

He took a deep breath, and lowered himself onto one knee. Clearing his throat, he said, "Julia Martin-" No, that sounded wrong. "Specs, would you do me the tremendous honor of becoming my… my partner, and my wife?"

He reached out his arm, and presented her with a diamond engagement ring. It was very simple, and very old. A small diamond sat in the center of a gold band, with tiny leaves curling around it. Specs looked at the ring, feeling tears poking at the corners of her eyes.

A thousand thoughts raced through her head. What if they were reassigned? What if he died in battle? Was there a mathematical rule they were breaking? What was the proper formula for calculating how long two people should date before taking this step? What would her mother say?

Suddenly all of those thoughts were forced from her mind, replaced with a wild, irrational urge to kiss him and cry. All she could think about was how happy she was in his strong arms, how beautiful his eyes were, his smile… All of the joy of this last year raced through her at once. Her bones felt like they were on fire as she remembered the first time they'd spent a night locked in a passionate embrace under the sheets. All of a sudden she felt every touch, every laugh, every moment as though it was the first and only moment that had ever mattered, ever existed.

Maybe science couldn't define love, but Specs could. It was this. This hot, irrational feeling that was spreading through her like wildfire. It was the knowledge that she could spend every day of the rest of her life with Krayonder, and never be tired of it. She KNEW that she could, that she wanted to; she craved the idea of calling him hers, of laying claim on the best man she'd ever met. This brave, sweet soul that had fallen just as hard for her as she had for him. This was love, she knew it.

Before she could think she cried, "Yes…Yes!"

Krayonder exhaled, his body shaking. For a minute there…

He didn't get past that thought. Specs had hurled herself on him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her lips locked on his. He picked her up, squeezing her like he would never let her go. She kissed him, running her fingers through his wild sandy hair. This kiss surpassed any either of them had experienced before in both passion and pleasure. When they finally parted, panting, Krayonder slid the ring onto Specs' finger.

"It was my grandmother's," he said, "It's not much, I know, but…"

Specs felt the tears rolling down her cheeks before she could stop them.

"Hey, hey…" He whispered, wiping them away with his thumbs, "Don't cry…"

"It's… an automatic… bodily response… I… can't… help it…."

He smiled, and kissed her gently. Once on the forehead, between the eyes, the nose, the lips, the jaw, the neck…

Specs shut her eyes. He grabbed her around the waist with one arm, catching her behind the knees with the other. In a single swift motion he had her in his arms and was carrying her back into his bedroom, her fingers digging into the back of his shoulders. He climbed onto the bed slowly, carefully setting her on top of the plush mattress. He refused to break contact. He held himself just inches above her, her fingers brushing the tiny hairs on the back of his neck…

They kissed again, this one stronger than before. This kiss was a commitment. It was a firm "I love you" from both of them. The kiss said the words they didn't have to.

"Krayonder," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Mrs. Julia Krayonder…"

His heart skipped a beat and his lips rushed to find hers. Specs reached out and grabbed the blankets, throwing them over herself and Krayonder. Their heads disappeared under the soft cotton. A pile of clothes formed next to the bed as the room filled with giggles and other sounds.

They lost themselves in each other, happier than either of them could ever remember being. When they finally emerged, smiles on their faces, no words were exchanged. Specs laid her head and one hand on Krayonder's chest. He locked his fingers with hers, feeling the cool metal around her ring finger and chuckling to himself. He kissed her on the forehead as the pair drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**(This piece was posted independently and as Chapter 4 of my story "Stupid." FLASHBACK Specs and Krayonder's first meeting)**

The gym was filled with the grunts and moans of a dozen sweaty recruits. Muscular boys stood around idly chatting as some of their scrawnier counterparts cried out in pain. One of the boys, wearing a sideways camo-print baseball cap, looked around the room. He watched new recruits struggle with the simplest of exercises, some of them looked like they were beyond hope. But as he looked around, one person in particular caught his eye. A bespectacled, red-haired girl was doing push-ups in the corner, her arms trembling beneath her. She was clearly not the athletic type, probably a schience officer, he thought to himself, and she couldn't be more than 19.

He wandered away from the group and walked over. He noticed her body stiffen as she watched him approach. Positioning himself right in front of the girl, he lay on his back and began doing sit ups.

"You know," he said between breaths as he raised his muscular torso off the floor again and again, "I think that motivation is like, super important for workin' out."

The girl glanced at him briefly, before returning to her push-ups. She was determined not to be derailed by some smiling ensign on her first day aboard the starship. "Excuse me?" She asked, trying to hide the tremor in her voice.

"You know, you gotta reward yourself for all your effort." He sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees nonchalantly. "For example, for every twenty of those you do, I could… give you a kiss."

Specs turned scarlet. She looked at the floor, immobile. After a pause, she said, "That would mean kissing you would be a reward. Who says I want to kiss you, anyhow?" She returned to her push-ups, avoiding his gaze.

The boy just laughed, his canine teeth visible as he smiled. "Fair enough…You're real cute," he said. "If you change your mind, my name's Krayonder. Come find me sometime. The ship isn't that big, afterall." He reached out a hand and tipped her chin up. They made eye contact, and he winked at her before standing and walking out of the gym, flexing his arms. As Specs looked up to watch him leave, her arms fell out from under her. She groaned, struggling to sit up. She ran a bony hand through her frizzy red hair, and wondered what exactly had just happened.

"Krayonder," she whispered to herself, "I'll have to remember that."


	5. Chapter 5

**FLASHBACK**

Two weeks had gone by since the "gym incident." Specs had so far managed to avoid that Ensign Krayonder, with his cute hair and cute nose and… Oh deadgod, what was happening to her? Specs did not like boys, she did not have "crushes" on them. She'd always jokingly referred to herself as part robot. But this… this was starting to feel like a crush. It worried her. Determined to avoid the painful consequences that came with liking someone, she spent all her time in engineering, focused on her work. As long as she was doing an equation or tinkering with something, she could put his smile out of her mind.

Specs, carrying her lunch tray and followed by February, found a nice quiet table away from the crowds and sat down. She had just started to eat when she noticed a group of burly ensigns strut through the door.

"Oh no," Specs whispered, staring at him, "It's Krayonder."

"Who?" February asked.

Specs rolled her eyes. "The boy from the gym," she said, failing to hide the panic in her voice.

February tuned to look, her eyes wide beneath her blonde hair. "Oh honey, that's no boy. That's a man!"

Specs grimaced. Krayonder turned and saw her, his lips spreading into a wide smile that stretched from ear to ear. She turned deep red and looked down at her plate, hoping he would ignore her.

As if that were a possibility. Nodding goodbye to his mates, he headed straight for the little table.

February had turned to watch him. "I think he likes you," she said a little loudly.

"What? No don't be stupid."

"I'll prove it! I'm like, such a good actress…"

"What? What does that-"

"Hello again," Krayonder said, "Mind if I join you?"

"Actually, I-"

"Not at all!" February said, moving over to make room for him. Not seeming to notice, Krayonder sat down next to Specs, forcing her to slide closer to the wall. "I'm February, like the month but a person," she said airily, extending a hand to Krayonder. She clearly expected him to kiss it, but instead he gave it a hearty shake and mumbled, "Nice to meet you."

He never took his eyes off Specs. She never took her eyes of her plate of fettuccini.

"So, um, you two, like, know each other?" February asked, a little puzzled.

"Not really," Specs said.

"Yeah," Krayonder said, "I don't even know this cutie's name."

"Oh! This is Specs!" February exclaimed.

"Specs… Because of the glasses…" Krayonder nodded, biting the corner of his lip. Specs looked up, glaring at him.

"Do you have a problem with my glasses?"

"I have a problem with the way they hide your eyes," he said nonchalantly.

Specs turned crimson, a shade she didn't think was even possible with her skin tone.

"So," February said, trying to make her voice as sultry as possible, "Crayon… I bet you didn't know that I don't have a gag reflex. It makes a lot of things much, much easier," she purred. Specs saw the way she was leaning across the table at Krayonder and her stomach dropped. Good for February, Specs thought. She deserved a nice guy. _But not this one…_

"Excuse me, February," he said, smiling politely at the dumb blonde, "But do you think I could have a little alone time with Specs here?" He smiled and Specs felt a swarm of Albanian butterflies swooping through her chest.

February, her jaw hanging wide, just stared at him for a moment. "Um… yeah, sure." She was not used to rejection of any kind. "Bye Specs." The blonde picked up her food and walked away, looking as though she'd been hit in the face with something rather heavy and confusing.

The red-head looked up at Krayonder, and saw him already looking at her.

"So, where are you from?" He asked. His voice had changed. It was softer, gentler; it sounded like the tone one would use with an old friend. Someone who already knew all your secrets and tricks, someone you could be totally honest with. It put Specs at ease.

"Earth," she said.

"I figured," he said, chuckling, "I don't see any tentacles or things," he looked her over. "Though," he said, voice dropping to a whisper, "I understand that tentacles in the right place can be kind of sexy." He gave her a big wink, and Specs chortled. "There it is! I knew I could make you laugh, dude. Now I can really get to know you, you know?"

Specs smiled, feeling more lighthearted than she had in days.

"Where on Earth are you from?"

"Massachusetts," she said in her nasally voice, "And you?"

"Kansas. Any siblings?"

"No."

"I have two brothers, myself. Both older, both Rangers."

"Is that why you joined?" Specs asked.

"Yeah. And I always felt, like, I was meant for something bigger," he said, a slightly dreamy quality to his voice.

"Yeah," Specs nodded, looking down, "I know what you mean." Krayonder smiled again, his lips curling on one side. It was almost a mischievous look, but it was gone in a moment.

"What do you do on the ship? Schience?"

"Not exactly. I'm a mechanic, an engineer, a mathematician… I suppose I perform odd jobs. I'm classically trained in quantum mechanics. I suppose everything else is really just hobby."

"Tell me about it," he said.

"…About what?"

Krayonder shrugged. "Anything you want."

"Well, alright." Specs started talking about fission and fusion and particles, and half an hour later she realized he was still focused quite clearly on her. She must have droned on for ages about stars and space and nerdy things… No one ever paid her much attention. How could he still be listening? This boy was always a surprise. "I must be boring you to death," she said.

"No, not at all! Don't ever think that," Krayonder said, touching her hand gently. Specs felt a wave of panic.

"I- I'd really like to be friends with you, Krayonder," she blurted.

"Yeah Specs, me too," he pulled his hand away. She thought she saw his Adam's apple bobbing as though he had swallowed hard.

"Good."

"Good."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air.

"Oh deadgoddammit, I'm late for my shift!" Krayonder exclaimed after looking at his watch. "Let's, uh… watch a movie or something soon, K?"

"Yes!" Specs said, _That's what friends do._ "I have a copy of "The Karate Kid," she said.

"That's my favorite! I'll see you then," he said, rushing off out into the hall.

"See you," she muttered. Specs slumped over onto the table and gave a small moan. What the hell was going on with her lately?

Krayonder walked off to report for duty, pretending it hadn't bothered him. _So what if you've never been shut down by a girl before, so what? _He said to himself. _It's not like you were actually interested in her. _With that bright hair, and those big, hazel eyes, and that delightfully curvaceous ass she was packin'… Nope, he was definitely not interested. He found his mind wandering over all that schiency stuff she'd said at lunch… It was weird. He'd never really cared about science or math before, but when Specs was talking about it, it was like he understood it for the first time in his life.

Nope… Not interested.

And even if he was, she just wanted to be friends. He was going to have to man up and squash any ideas he might have about that girl. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?

Right.

So it was settled then. Krayonder had himself a new best friend.

_Could have been more, _a voice in his head scolded. He ignored it.


	6. Chapter 6

Krayonder took a deep breath as the music started to swell. The chatter of the dozens of wedding attendees was suddenly silent, replaced by the scraping of their chairs as they stood up and turned around. Krayonder had to fight the urge to shut his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this. Up placed a hand firmly on his shoulder, as though the old Commander worried that he was about to run. He had chosen to forgo the traditional tuxedo, and instead wore black dress pants, a white button-up shirt, and a grey vest. His sleeves were rolled back, exposing his forearm, and the vest was buttoned tightly. The chain of a pocket watch hung from his vest pocket.

There was a collective drawing of breath as she walked in. The hem of her white gown billowed around her knees; a smooth band of white satin wrapped around her middle made her look sleek and elegant. The sleeves were three-quarter length, just barely connected with the bodice of the shoulder-less dress. Her red hair had been smoothed and pulled into a high updo on the back of her head, and she wore no glasses, not today, though she had let February put just a little make-up on her freckled face. She was walking gracefully on a pair of low heels that glittered like they were made of glass.

This was Specs' fairytale wedding, and she was walking toward her fairytale prince.

Krayonder felt his breath forcefully thrust out of his lungs. She was as radiant as he'd ever seen her, holding a bouquet of lilacs and walking towards him. He felt his knees buckling beneath him, and a tear threatening to escape from his eye.

"She looks beautiful," Up whispered.

Tilting his head slightly towards the Commander, with a tone of defiance in his voice, Krayonder said, "She always does."

Specs bit the corner of her lip as she arrived next to Krayonder in the front of the room. Everyone took their seats, and Specs heard her mother sobbing in the front row. The couple stood, looking at Up, as he began the speech that would marry them. "We are gathered here today…"

Krayonder slipped his hand into hers and gave her fingers a squeeze. "You look really beautiful," he whispered.

"Thanks," said Specs.

"No, I mean it," Krayonder looked over at her, "You look really beautiful."

Specs could hear the crack in his voice, almost like he might cry. The weight of his words was not lost on her. She gave his hand a squeeze back, and returned her attention to Up.

"So, do you, Daniel Krayonder of Earth, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

With one last look at Specs, he said "I do," and slipped a gold band onto Specs' finger.

"And do you, Julia Martin of Earth, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Specs' face broke into a tremendous smile. "I do," she said as she put an identical golden band onto Krayonder's hand.

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Specs and Krayonder turned to face each other. Specs felt like her whole body was filled with helium and she was going to float away any minute. Krayonder wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in, his lips finding their comfortable place on hers. Specs kissed him back heartily, her fingers winding through his hair as the crowd broke out in cheers. She wanted to be lost in this moment forever, and so did he.

But finally they had to break apart. The reception was being held in the cafeteria six decks down. It was customary for the bride and groom to be last to reach the party, so they had to run off and find something to do for the next twenty minutes or so. Specs had a pretty good idea it was going to involve a few more of those kisses.

"Are you ready?" Krayonder asked, holding out a hand.

"Yes."

"Good, because as soon as we get through those doors, we're running."

"Running? Why?"

Krayonder just winked. "You'll see."

Hand in hand, the two walked back down the aisle with perfect posture and poise as the crowd tossed white confetti (Specs had turned down the rice idea) into their air above their heads. Soon the metal door was sliding shut behind them, Specs was tugging of her shoes, and the two of them were tearing off down the hallway.

"Hurry!" Krayonder shouted as Specs laughed, trying to keep up.

"Where on Earth are we going?"

"You'll see!"

A few minutes later, they arrived out of breath in the gym.

"The gym?" Specs said, very confused. The place smelled like old socks.

"Yes. Stop one on our tour de romance is the gym. The first place I saw that face," he said, touching her cheek gently. "You bewitched me from the first moment…" He bent down for a kiss but Specs shoved him lightly in the chest.

"As I recall, Krayonder, you tried to "motivate" my workout with those lips and I turned you down. That was low even for you."

"Well it worked eventually, didn't it?"

Specs couldn't help but smile.

"Alright, are you ready to keep going?"

"Do we really need to run?" Specs asked, knowing what the answer would be. Krayonder just took her hand again and the pair took off down the corridor. Krayonder passed the elevator and instead pushed open the nearest door. "The stairs? Why in the name of Dead God can't we take the elevator?"

"Not romantic enough!" He shouted, his voice echoing in the stairwell. Two decks down, Krayonder dragged her out in the hallway again, pushing through a pair of red double doors. He stopped in the lobby.

"The ship's movie theater? Our first date," Specs smiled, out of breath. The place was totally empty, she noticed.

Krayonder, who hadn't broken a sweat, just smiled. "Yup. I bought you popcorn and candy and let you pick where to sit, just like a gentleman." He grabbed a bag of popcorn and a box of Red Vines off the counter and took Specs' arm, leading her through another door into a theater. "So, where should we sit?"

Specs, unsure of what was going on, tried to remember where they had sat the first time. It was her turn to drag him down the center row, into seats 11 and 12. She plopped down, and grabbed the Red Vines. A movie started to play on the screen.

Specs recognized it immediately as The Karate Kid, the movie they were watching when he proposed. She leaned over to whisper something to him, but didn't get the chance.

"Alright, time to go!"

"What? But we only just got here! I was really enjoying this romantic version of my boyfriend…"

He poked her on the nose, grabbed the Red Vines from her hands and set them, with the popcorn, in the seat next to him.

"Don't worry, there's still more. Plus, the romantic doesn't just go away because you married me." Krayonder winked and took her hand. Specs groaned as she was pulled from her seat and they ran from the theater.

Down another flight of stairs, down another hallway. Specs recognized the Holodeck as soon as they got there. The cherry red convertible was still sitting in that 1950's garage.

"Our first kiss, and the first time we said I love you."

"Well done."

Specs walked over to Krayonder, trying to be seductive. She put her hands on his chest, her fingers slipping around the lapels of his shirt, pulling him down into a kiss…

"We still have one more place to go," Krayonder said, pulling away after a few moments.

"Ugh, Krayonder I'm exhausted! And my feet are killing me…"

"Then I'll carry you." Before she could protest he had swept her off her feet, literally.

"You're always carrying me out of this room!" she exclaimed as he threw her over his shoulder and started running down the hallway. Specs was screaming. She heard her own girlish voice echoing back at her and felt the stares of the people they passed in the hallway. Soon Krayonder had slowed to pass through another door.

As he lowered her down, hands on her waist, Specs felt something cold, soft, and squishy beneath her feet. She gasped. Looking around, she recognized the ship's community garden. She was standing in grass. The room was dark, except for a single light source.

Specs looked around, and saw that the gazebo was draped in a hundred strings of white lights. It looked… magical. Krayonder took her hand, laced his fingers through hers and led her gently into the small wooden pagoda.

"We've never been here before," Specs whispered as she looked around, marveling at the flowers in bloom.

"No, we haven't," Krayonder said. "This is the place where we share our first dance as a couple."

Specs looked at him. "But aren't we supposed to do that at the reception?"

"Yeah I know, but, Specs, you know I've got two left feet! And in front of all those people, if I mess it up, the wedding's ruined. I just thought that this moment should be perfect. You, me, here. It's so beautiful. And that way, even if I trip all over you and fall in the cake at the reception, we'll still have this moment. No stupid Krayonder blunders can ruin that."

Specs smiled and stroked his cheek. He nuzzled her hand. "You big idiot. Nothing could possibly ruin this day. This is our day, the rest of those people can… can go die!"

"Specs!" Krayonder laughed. He had never heard her so… spunky, and vicious.

She hit the play button on the stereo just outside the gazebo, and put her hands on his shoulders. He put his hands on her waist, and they turned slowly to the music. Specs felt her heartbeat syncing to the slow song filling the air. The flowers were emitting the most intoxicating aroma.

"This is perfect, Krayonder. It's everything I ever wanted, you know, when I was a little girl."

"I'm glad," he said, "I never really thought about what I wanted my wedding to be like… but I think it's because I didn't know you yet. I couldn't have ever imagined anything as amazing as this wedding, or anyone as wonderful as you to share it with." Pulling her in closer, he bent down and kissed her. Specs kissed him back, hoping her lips could say everything she wanted them to. He seemed to get the message.

Krayonder was reluctant to let her go, but he knew it was time. He checked his pocket watch.

"Shit! We're gonna be late to our own wedding reception."

"I think they can wait just a few more minutes." Krayonder looked up at her, and was met with another kiss. Then another, and another… Specs ran her fingers through his hair, palms pressed against the side of his head, so close to him she could feel his heartbeat. "Damn," she said, "if we weren't going to be late, I'd take you right here…"

"Specs!" Krayonder cried again, startled at her, but unable to keep himself from smiling.

"We'd better go," she said. She straightened his shirt and vest, then slipped on her shoes. "We're not running, I don't care how late we are."

Krayonder chuckled and took her hand once more in his own. "That's fine by me."

They walked into the reception, and were met with rounds of applause. The DJ turned on a slow jazz song and said, "The bride and groom will now share their first dance."

Specs couldn't stifle a giggle as she and Krayonder were pushed onto the dance floor. Arms on shoulders, hands on waist, they found the rhythm that they had left only minutes before. Krayonder did not trip, and soon it was over and they were being ushered to their seats at a table along the wall and handed glasses of champagne. Toasts were made, speeches were given; Krayonder and Specs listened politely to all of them. They sat as close together as possible and never broke contact once during the evening.

Ultimately, Specs realized, it wasn't about the toasts or the dancing or the cake, (though it was a very delicious cake), it was about being with the man she loved. Sitting here, in a beautiful dress, holding his hand… that was enough. Her head on his shoulder, Specs looked down at their hands and looked at the rings on it. The heirloom engagement ring was followed by the simple golden band. Although they had told no one, each of them had chosen a message to have engraved on the inside of the other's ring. Specs had chosen, for Krayonder, "You are not stupid," and for Specs, Krayonder had chosen, "You are beautiful."

He saw her looking at the rings and whispered, "She would have loved you. My grandmother… She always wanted me to get married to someone smart and beautiful… Someone who cared more about their morals and values than objects or looks. In short, you." He smiled and kissed her.

Yeah, Specs thought. This was definitely enough.


	7. Chapter 7

She took Krayonder's hand in hers. They were going to get through this.

Specs was sitting on the hovering medical platform, the papery medical gown rubbing against her skin. _You'd think the field of medicine would have expanded beyond such primitive humiliation_, she thought to herself. Krayonder was standing next to her, his stony gaze fixed at the floor, no emotion detectable in his eyes or his lips. He was blank. The firm way he held her hand was the only sign that he was still alive.

The door swung open and a plump female doctor came in, carrying a clipboard. A nervous smile flashed across her face before disappearing among the wrinkles. Specs looked at her hopefully, searching for some sign, some inkling that the news she was bringing was happy.

She didn't find any.

"I'm afraid that, well, the test was quite conclusive. You're not capable of reproducing at this time."

Specs felt something break in her chest. Krayonder's hand was still squeezing hers, but the rest of the world fell away. She felt hollow.

"There are a number of minor surgeries that could fix this problem, so don't give up hope yet," the doctor said, patting Specs on the knee. "I'll be sending you back with a number of pamphlets, and the two of you can look them over. I am quite confident that in three or four years…"

She stopped listening. Three years? Specs didn't want three years. She wanted now. For months, she and Krayonder had been dreaming of having a child; a bouncing baby girl to hold in their arms. Krayonder was going to sing her lullabies, and Specs would teach her how to tinker with little gadgets. Krayonder was almost looking forward to when she turned 16 and he would be threatening potential boyfriends with his pair of prized nun chucks… Where had that dream gone?

Not all hope was lost, but somehow the thought of waiting three more years was not reassuring. She looked up at Krayonder, and saw that his expression had not changed. His jaw was clenched a little tighter, and she thought she saw a tear at the corner of his eye, but he still looked at the floor as though it wasn't there.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, Specs was back in her own clothes and in her own quarters. Well, their quarters. Krayonder walked back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He hadn't said a word on the long walk across the ship. She felt her stomach drop. He was so angry, and Specs felt like it was all her fault. Her hands clutched at her stomach. What was wrong with her? She could solve any math problem, fix any machine, but she couldn't even fulfill the most basic job of womanhood. A simple biological process, and she had FAILED. He must hate her.<p>

Flopping down on the couch, she couldn't blame him. A wave of nausea hit her like a brick wall. Would he… would he leave her?

No, no, of course not. This didn't change their love. Married for 7 months, they weren't really newlyweds anymore, but they had never been so happy! While each of them had worried that they might be rushing into the baby game, Specs felt that it was time. She was sure that she and Krayonder were a great couple, and would make great parents. They were ready to have a child. The sounds of a vase smashing in the other room didn't ease her mind.

Why were they rushing it? Was three years really so long to wait? They were young, they had time... But they both also had dangerous jobs. One of them could be killed in the line of duty at almost any time. Look at Up's famous injury… it surely prevented him from reproducing. All the more reason to start a family now! _But what if that's just postponing the inevitable heartbreak?_

Specs was not much of a crier, although Krayonder seemed to bring that side out of her more than she liked. She'd been through enough life-threatening situations to be able to hold it together in a crisis. She was strong enough not to cry when being attacked by deadly bugs, but she couldn't stop herself now. In fact, she'd never cried like this before, ever. She felt as though her ribs were breaking under the stress, as though her eyes were faucets that she couldn't turn off. She was gasping for breath, drowning.

All these negative thoughts were just swimming through Specs' mind… If they did split, if he left her, where would she go? She couldn't stay on the team knowing full well that she was the cause of their d…d-divorce. What a heavy word. For fuck's sake, it was NATURE, not rocket science! It wasn't that they had to wait that was bothering her. The three years might prove to be a blessing, but the fact that she couldn't conceive when she wanted to… That was bothering her. She was weak and pathetic and disgusting. Specs hated herself. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in her lap, held together by nothing but her own arms.

And suddenly his arms were around her. He had appeared beside her out of nowhere, his face puffy and red, and he was holding her. They were holding each other. As Specs sobbed into Krayonder's neck, she felt tears dripping off his cheeks. She had never, ever seen him cry before. He was the bravest son of a bitch she'd ever met, and crying was just not his style. But here he was, crying with her. Maybe that made him braver, she thought, because he wasn't trying to hide it. He was letting himself be vulnerable with her, crying with her, crying for the loss they'd both felt so keenly today in that doctor's office.

"I-I.. I'm so sorry," she cried, "I'm so sorry!"

"Shh, no, don't think that this is your fault. Don't say that… shhhh…" he whispered, his voice raw. He ran a hand through her hair, pulling her closer.

"P-Please, d-don't… l-leave me!" She spluttered. She wasn't sure where this was coming from, but she couldn't stop it. She felt like a piñata that had been smashed open, her feelings, her weaknesses leaking all over the place.

Krayonder pulled away from her, shock written all over his face. He took her head in his hands and brushed away the tears with his thumbs. "L-leave you? Oh God, never! Never ever ever," he said. He pulled her back to his chest. "I can't believe you'd think… What made you think that I could ever… No. Specs, man, if anything, I was a little worried you'd leave me. I feel like somehow it's my fault…"

"You're not the one who can't have a baby…" she cried.

"Didn't you hear that doctor? It's just gonna take a little while, that's all."

Specs looked up into his eyes. "How can you be so optimistic? I… You were so mad! I thought you'd hate me; I hate me! I can't stand to look at myself … What the Dead God is wrong with me that I can't even have a baby? OUR baby!" Specs cried, her voice escalating to dangerous levels.

"Stop it, Specs! Stop being like this!" He shouted. "This is not your fault, there is nothing wrong with you. I love you just as much today as I did yesterday, maybe even a little more. I'm not going to leave you no matter what happens. I didn't put that ring on your finger just for show, Mrs. Krayonder, this isn't just something I was doing while it was convenient. You never listen to me when I tell you how amazing you are, you're always so quick to jump into self-loathing… I'm sick of it." He took her chin in his hand. She didn't think he'd ever spoken to her like this before. "You are my wife, and I will love you until the day I die, baby or no baby. Maybe we were a little hasty to be parents… We have time, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. We'll start looking into some of those options the doctor gave us tomorrow, and until then, I don't wanna hear one more self-deprecating word out of your mouth, do you understand me?"

Specs nodded. The tears had stopped flowing. She was certain that he had never, ever spoken to her like this. Like a superior, but also like a husband. She kissed him. He took her hand and stood up.

"Come on."

"Where?"

"To the bathroom. We both look like a mess," he said, clenching his fist gingerly. "I think I cut myself on that vase."

Specs stood and followed him into the bathroom. She wondered how she could have been so blind to his love for her, blind and deaf. She promised never to take him for granted again, her thumb playing with the gold band around her finger.

Never.


	8. Chapter 8

"TRAITOR! Lying piece of sh... You TRAITOR!" Krayonder screamed, his legs kicking the air. Up was struggling to keep his arms pinned behind him as he flailed, hurling insults down the corridor. Three members of security were marching a handcuffed ensign away from Krayonder. Long after they'd disappeared, Krayonder was still screaming. "Let me at him, Up! Come on; let me at that bloodsucking son of a bitch!"

"Krayonder, I order you to calm down at once! It's over, no one was seriously hurt-"

"He hurt her! He hurt Specs!"

"And she is in sick bay, which is where you ought to be," Up said, his mustache prickling through his deep Alabama accent. There was no confusing the authority in his voice. Krayonder stopped struggling, his face still flushed. Up reluctantly released one of his arms and began steering him towards the medical bay.

* * *

><p>As soon as the doors slid open, Krayonder ripped his arm out of Up's grasp and bolted to her bedside. He knelt down beside her, held her small hand in both of his, and watched her unconscious form. Specs was pretty badly injured. Her right arm had been broken and was in a sling, her face was yellow and green and badly swollen on one side, she'd lost a few teeth and had a gash across her forehead. Someone had meant to do this, and Krayonder wanted to kill him.<p>

A nurse walked over to Up. "Is that her husband?"

The old man nodded. "Yup. Funny, isn't it? The way he looks at her… I don't think I've ever seen a man look more… broken. At least not when all his own limbs were intact."

The nurse paused, looking apprehensive. "Is it true? What they're saying, I mean… That someone on board is a... a..."

"Yes, there was a spy on board. He broke into this young lady's lab and tried to force her to tell him the codes to override the engine's safety protocols. She didn't break. Even managed to use a screwdriver as a shiv and give the boy some battle scars." Up looked affectionately at Specs and Krayonder. Specs gave a soft moan, and showed signs of starting to wake up. "I think we best leave those two alone," Up said, taking the nurse by the arm and leading her into the hallway, "We need someone to take a look, make sure she didn't hurt that traitorous scum too bad…"

Krayonder gave Specs' hand a squeeze.

"Wha…Where am I?" She wheezed, coughing violently.

"You're in sick bay, baby."

"I don't… remember…" Krayonder's stomach dropped. He had been afraid of this. What if that bastard had knocked out some of her memories? What if she didn't remember getting married, or being in love, or making love, or spending all those nights snuggled up on the couch? What if… What if she didn't remember him? Like, at all?

"I don't remember what happened," Specs said, seeing the worry in his eyes. "I remember eating breakfast, this morning, and going to work… And then, someone came in… he had a knife…"

"Shh, don't think about that right now, okay?" Krayonder whispered, choking up. He gently stroked her hair, careful to avoid all her bangs and bruises. He sniffed and gruffly wiped a tear from his eye. It sure did feel like he was crying a lot lately.

Specs gave his hand a squeeze and smiled weakly. "Did you beat him up?"

Krayonder grimaced. "No. I tried, but Up got there first."

"Damn. Well, I think I got him pretty good. I remember holding an instrument in a defensive capacity…"

"A screwdriver," he chuckled.

Specs shifted in the hospital bed. "They assume because I wear glasses that I'm incapable of defending myself. In actuality, I'm more adept at using my surroundings as a defense mechanism than any spy would be," she smiled, clearly proud of herself.

Krayonder felt himself smiling as he looked at her. His eyes took in the bruises, the cut, the arm… He wanted to murder something. Not just something, that bastard. That traitor, that piece of scum! His jaw clenched and Specs could see a vein pulsing in his temple.

"Promise me something," she croaked.

"What?"

"I know you're going to want to do something stupid as soon as I fall asleep, like sneaking past the guards and beating up that... that… man," she said, pausing until he looked into her eyes. "Promise me you won't. Don't even go near him. Stay here, or… or go to our quarters. Or go to the holodeck and run a violent training program. Just don't do what you're thinking of doing."

Krayonder grimaced. She knew him too well.

"Promise me, Krayonder!"

"Fine. I promise," he scowled.

"Good." Specs pulled his hand into her lap and settled back into the bed. Krayonder saw that she was starting to drift off to sleep. He knew she wasn't fatally injured, but every time he thought about leaving… He felt sick. He had to stay here. What if she woke up in pain? Even though she might not admit it, she wanted him to stay with her. Specs was tougher than anyone knew, but she was still his wife. She wouldn't say she needed him because she didn't want to be a burden, but the matter had been settled as soon as he'd seen her laying there. He was staying until Up or Taz dragged him out, and he would not go peacefully.

Letting go of her hand, Krayonder walked across the room and picked up a chair. He carried it over to her bed and sat down, arms crossed, just watching her sleep. Despite the bruising, she looked so peaceful, he thought. He wondered if she was dreaming.

Nurses and doctors walked in and out, checking her charts, but not saying anything. To them, Krayonder looked like a guard dog; they didn't want to get any closer than necessary. After a few hours, during which he had barely stirred, the nurse who had spoken to Up walked over to Krayonder and thrust a cup at him.

He looked up at her as though she had appeared out of nowhere. "What's this?"

"Water. If you don't drink some you'll be dehydrated by the time she wakes up."

"Thanks," he said, taking the cup. He sipped it, and the nurse started to walk away, but paused and turned back around.

"She's fine, you know. You don't have to stay here," she said.

Krayonder just looked up at her blankly. "Yeah, I do," he said. "Besides, where else am I gonna go? To our empty apartment? I'd rather be with her."

The nurse smiled a little. "That's really nice. You must really love her."

He didn't say anything, just watched Specs. The nurse walked away. As if there had ever been any question…

* * *

><p>The next morning, leaning heavily on Krayonder, Specs was released from the hospital. The swelling in her face had been reduced to just a few purplish bruises, her teeth had been regrown, and her forehead gash was now a fading scar. Her arm was still bound tightly in a sling. He helped her into their quarters, and into a pair of soft pajamas. He sat down on the couch, Specs curled up in his lap, and they settled in for a long day of watching movies.<p>

Taz had seen no reason for Krayonder to get the day off work, but, luckily for him, Up had quite the soft spot these days, especially where love was involved. Eventually the fiery little Lieutenant had given up, muttering under her breath in Spanish. Krayonder suspected he'd have to suffer for it later, but he didn't care. He got to spend the day at home taking care of his beloved.

Specs, the one who never failed to appear with an ice pack and a drink after he'd been in a fight, who always made him soup when he was sick or upset. Specs, the most loving, nurturing woman he'd ever had the good fortune to know. It was his privilege and his honour to be able to take care of her for once.

He fussed over her like a mother hen, offering her soup and insisting on walking with her everywhere, and absolutely refusing to let her out of his arms. At first it had been kind of cute, but Specs was getting a bit frustrated. She got up to use the bathroom, and found Krayonder standing as well.

"No," she said, pushing him back down onto the couch, "I've got this."

"Just let me-"

"Krayonder I can take care of myself!" As soon as it escaped her lips, she knew she had been too harsh. He was honestly trying to help, but there was a limit. She bent down and touched his cheek. "I love how sweet you are, but I don't need you to escort me to the bathroom, Krayonder. Just… be here, when I come back. That's all I need." She smiled at him, and he begrudgingly smiled back, arms folded across his chest. Specs excused herself to the small bathroom.

After finishing her business, she opened the door and walked out into the hallway. Looking at the couch, she had expected to see Krayonder exactly where she'd left him. He was gone.

"Boo," whispered a voice right behind her. She turned, expecting to see Krayonder, and gasped. It was not a face she wanted to see.

There stood the man the whole ship was talking about, the traitor. Specs stumbled backwards into the bathroom, trying to shut the door. He pushed it open, knocking Specs backwards into the sink. Twirling a small zapper in his hand, he chuckled at her. "Before I get the hell off this ship, I have a score to settle with you, geek." Specs looked around for anything she could use as a weapon, anything at all. Somehow a can of air freshener didn't seem that dangerous compared to a zapper.

"Say goodbye, bitch…"

Specs kicked his hand, the zapper clattering to the floor. It went off and singed a hole in the rug. The man lunged at Specs and, still sitting in the sink, she pushed both feet into his chest, throwing him back into the doorway.

There was a resounding crash as a copper pot came down on the intruder's head. He fell to the floor, momentarily stunned.

"Keep your fucking hands off her."

Krayonder lowered the pot, and aimed a kick at the man's head, then another at his crotch for good measure. Specs could feel her body shaking, she couldn't breathe. Krayonder gently scooped her up in his arms and carried her out into the living room. He set her on the couch. "Stay here, I'm taking this scumbag with me to security. He probably just stunned his guards, stay here and wait for me."

"You're nuts if you think I'm letting you out of my sight," Specs said, standing up. "I'm coming with you."

Krayonder winced, almost smiling. "Alright, go grab my cuffs and zapper from the closet." He slid back into the bathroom, rolling the asswipe onto his stomach none too gently. Specs returned quickly with the items. She handed Krayonder the cuffs and said, "I haven't seen those in a while." Her voice was unmistakably mischievous. Leave it to Specs to get aroused by catching a criminal.

"Keep the zapper aimed at him," he said, hauling the unconscious lump to his feet. Holding his upper arms, Krayonder dragged him out of the bathroom, heels lightly scuffing the floor. He pulled him out into the hallway, Specs following along with the zapper. Just then an alarm sounded, and a group of security guys came racing around the corner. They saw Krayonder and Specs and their jaws dropped.

"What… but you…"

"Yeah, we did your job for you," he said, pushing the man into the arms of the nearest goon. "Hopefully next time you'll be able to keep this piece of shit in the cell where he belongs."

Specs nodded smugly. She lowered the zapper and waved her broken arm at the security guys, mouthing the words "one handed" as she walked back into the apartment. Krayonder began to follow, then paused. "Oh, and I'd like my handcuffs back when you're done." He winked at the still shocked guards, and let the door slide shut behind him. He'd hardly gotten two feet inside when Specs used her good hand to push him against the wall. Holding her injured arm out of the way, she pressed herself against him and planted her lips on his. He was delighted to find her fingers winding around his neck. Krayonder's hands slid around her hips, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer.

Specs pulled away, just barely, and whispered, "Would you care to escort me to the bedroom? Might be dangerous in there…"

Krayonder smiled and offered her his arm. She took it, and they walked wordlessly into the back room of the apartment, shutting the door behind them.

"Too bad we don't have those handcuffs…"


	9. Chapter 9

Specs had been staring at the paper for two hours. Forgotten on the desk was a little blue bottle that had come with her other mail for the day, a new fertility drug that she was going to be testing. After a brief, hopeful smile, she'd picked up the envelope that was now lying ripped on the floor. She hadn't moved, hadn't breathed, hadn't blinked- she just stood there. Staring. Staring at it. This impossible paper, with its thick black lettering and goddamn loopy signature at the bottom. Space Claw had signed it himself.

Reassignment orders.

She was being moved to an observatory on a tiny little moon on the edge of the quadrant, where "the G.L.E.E. Interstellar Telescopic Monitor" was in need of "constant repairs from a trained individual." He was reassigning Specs to a tiny outpost to live, virtually isolated, to babysit a broken down telescope that was pointed at nothing.

Ever since Bug-World, Space Claw had been making life difficult for all the Rangers involved. Bug had been submitted to numerous background checks and technicalities that kept him under surveillance, Up had almost been fired, and someone kept "anonymously" claiming that Tootsie Noodles was a terrorist. Tootsie, a fucking terrorist?

But this… this was a low blow. Space Claw had finally found a way to punish Specs and Krayonder. He was separating them for… Specs looked down at the sheet… a year. A year on that tiny moon with a crew of two other people. Without Krayonder.

A tear splashed down, smearing the ink just slightly over the signature. The paper trembled in Spec's hand, and she felt how tired her legs were from standing still for so long. She grabbed for the nearest stool and dropped onto it as sobs began to heave from her chest. If a heart really could break, this was what it felt like. Her whole body seared with pain. How could she live for a year without him? Maybe if this had happened sooner, before they were married, she would be alright. But now… they lived together. They slept in the same bed, they ate all their meals together, they took walks in the arboretum and watched kung fu movies and talked about the universe and life and happiness. He was more than her husband, he was her best friend. She didn't want to have to live without him.

The door to the lab slid open, and Specs heard him call out for her. Krayonder rounded the corner holding a bouquet of tulips. He saw her, and the wide smile disappeared from his face. Dead God, he was handsome. It was like she was seeing him for the first and last time all at once. Krayonder rushed over to her and dropped the flowers on the workbench. He pulled her off the stool and into his arms. Specs let him cradle her to his chest.

"Hey, hey… what is this? What's the matter?" He wiped the tears from her eyes. Unable to speak, Specs handed him the paper that was still clutched in her hand. He took it. One hand rubbing her back, he read through the letter and the blood drained from his face. Soon, he didn't look much better than her. White and shaking, Krayonder crumpled the paper up in his fist and threw it. "That bastard… THAT BASTARD!" He shouted, kicking over the stool. Specs pressed herself against the wall as his fists broke beakers and slammed down on the metal counters. She just watched as he destroyed her lab. "THIS ISN'T FAIR!" He screamed, "THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"

Krayonder looked at her. For a moment she thought he was glaring, but quickly Specs realized her mistake. It was… agony. Breathing heavily, Krayonder just looked at her. His cinnamon eyes were watering. They were begging.

"Please," he said, voice cracking, "Don't go."

Specs felt miserable. She walked over to him, pulling him close, holding him tightly. He was… crying. Actually crying. He'd done it once or twice, a few tears in either direction. But this… this was not a Krayonder she'd ever known. He sank to the floor, pulling Specs with him. They leaned against the metal counter and he cried. She didn't try and move him, didn't try and say anything. She had been robbed of the power to speak. Specs realized that her own tears had stopped when his had started. His forehead pressed to her neck, she held him tightly in her arms, one hand rubbing his back. When was the last time he had cried like this, she wondered. Was this long overdue?

Wiping his eyes, Krayonder cleared his throat. He looked up at her, studying her face before making a connection with her hazel eyes. "I… I don't know who I would be without you, Specs. You… You do this to me! You turn me into a crybaby at the thought of losing you. Since we met, I've changed for the better. I know it. Living without you… I don't know, man. I don't know if I can do it."

She touched his cheek, cupping his jaw in her palm. "We have to. We have to be strong. Space Claw will not get the satisfaction of breaking me. He wants to separate us for a year? Well the joke's on him, because we're stronger than that. We'll be able to send each other communications, right? And I'm sure I can hook up a video chat on the Deadgoddamn moonbase. We'll be alright. We're strong. Together, we are strong. Right, Krayonder?"

He smiled weakly. "Right, Mrs. Krayonder." He stood and reached down to help her up. Specs kissed him. "I don't ship out for a week. Any ideas what we can do until then?" Specs bit her lip. Krayonder's eyes twinkled briefly.

"Well, if I don't get to touch you for a year, I think I know what I wanna do until then." He bent over and scooped her into his arms, marching out of the lab and into the corridor. Specs giggled, feeling happy despite the overwhelming blow she had just been dealt.

Space claw couldn't take this away from her. She was going to be happy as much as possible until it was time to go.

"Horny man with a wife coming through!" Krayonder called out as he pushed through crowds of Rangers. Specs just laughed and laughed as he shouted lewd things, holding onto him tightly. She wasn't worried about getting trouble, what other punishment could Admiral Claw possibly give them? Specs felt untouchable.

Soon Krayonder was throwing her onto the bed, bent over her like a predator. His hands pulled at her uniform, his lips tickled as he kissed his way across her body. With a devilish grin, Krayonder reached over the bedside table and pulled a pair of handcuffs from the drawer.

They were fucking untouchable.


	10. Chapter 10

Specs didn't want this moment to end.

She and Krayonder were entwined in a deep hug in the middle of the shuttle bay. Space Claw was waiting impatiently for her next to the shuttle, to give her the final instructions of this pointless mission. Her fingers touched his hair, his face, his shoulders, his sides. Their tongues moved together… She wanted to remember how he felt, how he tasted, how he smelled, the way his eyebrows furrowed, the way his skin shone under the fluorescent lights.

Space Claw coughed loudly.

Specs grabbed Krayonder's face, kissing him as passionately as she could muster. The kiss turned salty as a few tears dripped down her cheeks. He grabbed her, holding her tightly, hoping desperately that if he just held on tight enough, she would stay. Lips moving furiously, Specs and Krayonder crashed together. She had to pull away, panting. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her green sweater.

"Time to go, Ensign Krayonder," Space Claw said in his deep, gravelly voice. It was still odd for her to be addressed by that name. Specs was sure that beneath his hood he was smiling.

Krayonder glared at the villainous creature. She could see him gritting his teeth, getting angry. Specs grabbed his face in her hands again.

"Hey," she said, "Look at me." He begrudgingly pulled his gaze, focusing on those hazel eyes. "He is going to be looking for reasons to make this situation worse. Anything you do, ANYTHING, could send me further into space for a much longer time. You need to be good," Krayonder winced, "I mean it," she said. "You don't have to be perfect, but you need to be a damn good Ranger. Do it for me. Do it because if you don't, you might not ever see me again."

His eyes had wandered back to Space Claw. They snapped back to her in an instant, and his gaze softened.

"Don't say that. Don't you ever, ever…" He trailed off.

"Be good."

She gave Krayonder's hand a squeeze, memorizing the way his fingers locked with hers, and turned around. She began walking towards the shuttle.

"Wait!" Krayonder shouted. He leaped forward, grabbing the hand he had just let go, and pulled her in for one more kiss, one more touch. Her hands on his chest, she had to push him away. _Stop it, _she thought, _you're making this so much harder. _

"I have to go," she whispered as she walked backwards.

"I love you," he said. "Don't, uh… don't fall in love with any deep space aliens, all right?"

"Never," she said.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Specs hefted her bag onto her shoulder, taking the large envelope of instructions from Space Claw. Eyes narrowed, she peered into the recesses of his hooded face, but couldn't see anything. "Good luck on this assignment, Ensign. The G.L.E.E. really values that telescope. You're doing important work."

"I'm sure," she said, not hiding the contempt in her voice as she walked into the small shuttle. Throwing down her bag, she ran to the front of the small space craft and punched in the autopilot to get her out of the shuttle bay. The shuttle clinked as it sealed up, preparing for flight. The forcefield flickered into place behind her, shielding Space Claw and Krayonder from the sucking force of outer space. The large bay doors opened, and Specs ran to the back of the shuttle. She looked out the large window as the ship took off into the black night of outer space. Specs saw that Krayonder had moved as close as possible to the translucent blue shield, Space Claw right next to him. Claw was waving his giant, metal hand, and Krayonder had placed his small human one over his heart.

She could see him mouthing the words, "I love you," over and over. She put her hand in the same place, and said it.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I really fucking love you, you big idiot. I'll come back. I promise."

Ultimately, Specs sighed, that wasn't a promise she knew she could keep. Space Claw was the biggest son of a bitch she'd ever had the misfortune of meeting, but surely Up had enough influence to bring her back after this mission. She hoped and prayed Krayonder wouldn't do anything stupid to jeopardize their chances.

Soon she was too far away to see him anymore. She could just make out the bay doors closing, and she knew he would stand there until well after they closed. Wiping a tear from her eye, she walked back to the chair in the cockpit. Flopping down, she set the ship's coordinates and turned on autopilot.

A year, she thought. She could do this. She had to.


	11. Chapter 11

It took her seven days to reach the dumpy little moon where she was to be stationed. She could see it for a while before she arrived; it was bright purple. Hard to miss. Specs' eyes roved over the papers in her hand. She would be serving with two third-class ensigns, which gave Specs, who was in first class, total authority. Jarvis and Hashka, she noted, both had empty records. They weren't being punished, then, but something had driven the G.L.E.E. to station them as far away as possible.

The shuttle groaned as it began to descend through the atmosphere. Specs saw the shuttle bay doors open. Damn, this base was small. As tiny as this humdinger was, getting it in there was going to be a tight squeeze. Specs flipped a few switches, returning the shuttle to manual control. She guided it gently inside the doors, hearing it squeak as a wing scraped the walls. The shuttle touched down.

_Well_, she thought_, I'm home._

Specs wasn't two feet out of the door, bag slung over her shoulder, when two blurs came hurtling towards her.

"Thank goodness you're here at last! I was worried you'd gotten a bit lost."

"Shut up, Hashka, she's the best in the league, she didn't get LOST!... Did you?"

"No, I-"

"Don't tell me to you-know-what, Jarvis, it's simply impolite."

"Your mother was impolite for giving birth to you but you don't see me complaining."

"You leave my mother out of this!"

"Enough!" Specs bellowed, startled at the power of her own voice. "I did not get lost, and I will not tolerate this kind of behavior under my watch. I've been flying for seven days, so if you don't mind, I'd like to go to my quarters."

The two squirrelly ensigns were looking at her, eyes wide. Specs didn't know what to think. She was a bit disgusted at the way they gazed at her, like she was some kind of Overlord.

"Yes ma'am, right this way," the one called Hashka muttered, walking backwards straight into the wing. She fell to the ground with a loud thud. Jarvis laughed.

"Help her up," Specs said, and Jarvis rushed to Hashka's aid, a grim scowl across his face. He helped up the mousy ensign, picking up her small wire glasses and shoving them into her hands. Stepping down to the floor, Specs sized them up. They looked at her with a sort of reverence; she had to put a stop to that immediately. Jarvis was a good head taller than her, not too thin. He had blonde hair and was sort of gangly, like he didn't know what to do with his limbs. He moved and talked very quickly, his bright blue eyes whizzing about. He stood very tall, good posture.

Hashka was shorter than Specs. Her light brown hair was thrown in a messy bun, she had small wire-rimmed glasses, and she stood like she was uncomfortable. _I used to stand like that, _Specs thought, _back at the academy. _Her shoulders were pulled together, and the little ensign kept wringing her hands. She was nervous.

This was her crew.

Specs folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. "All right," she said in her best imitation of authority, "I can see that you two have been alone here for some time and have developed a method of communication that, quick as it may be, is not in the best interest of this crew. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior while I'm in charge. In brief, no insults, speak more slowly, and look where you're going." Specs saw Hashka gulp. "I'd also like to say that while I may be in command, I'm human as you. Stop gawking at me like I'm here to rescue you. Understood?"

The ensigns nodded, Hashka looked at her toes.

"This way to your quarters, Ensign Krayonder Ma'am."

"Specs. My name is Specs."

"…Specs, then." Jarvis gave her a weak smile and led her through a very tight doorframe into the next room. Specs heard crying from behind her. She turned and saw Hashka sobbing into he hands. Specs opened her mouth to say something, but Jarvis grabbed her elbow and shook his head. They walked on down a curving hallway. "I'm sorry about Hashka, she does that sometimes," he said.

"I used to do that too," Specs said.

"Here we are," Jarvis said, stopping at a rusty door. Specs reached for the keypad, but he shook his head again. "No use. Everything here is broken." He knocked on the door twice with his fist and it squeaked open. Specs looked inside and felt her stomach sink. A light flickered into life overhead, illuminating the tiny room. A single bunk, a desk, a sink, and a closet. Everything was made of metal and rusting at the corners.

Specs dropped her bag and clenched her jaw, full of resolution. She was going to whip this place into shape. Specs reached into her pocket and pulled out a picture taken on Bug World. Krayonder had snaked his arm around his waist at the very last second before the flash. She had not expected it, and when she turned around, full of questions, he had bolted back to the ship. Specs drew her fingers slowly over the tattered photograph. He'd been so shy, and yet so belligerently masculine, that he had caught her affection almost from the first moment. She wedged the photograph in the corner of the mirror that hung about the rusted sink. She clenched her fists, and took a deep breath.

"Alright," she said, "let's go look at that telescope."

* * *

><p>Krayonder hit the punching bag over and over and over again, his fists lightly bloodied. His brow furrowed in anger and concentration, he imagined beating the shit out of Space Claw. He tried to imagine the grotesque secrets hidden beneath that hood, imagine himself destroying whatever was left of the man Space Claw used to be. He began to grunt and cry out as he hit the bag, until eventually he was just screaming, his fists flying.<p>

He felt a hand on his shoulder, tugging him backwards. His reflex was to strike whoever was behind him, but as his fist flew towards the aggressor it was caught and he was thrown to the ground.

"Estupido, it's just us!" Shouted a familiar Hispanic voice. His eyes flickered open and he recognized the short girl standing over him. Taz hauled him to his feet and Up brushed the dirt off his shoulders.

"Krayonder, what on Earth have you done to your fists?" Up demanded, looking at the torn skin and bloody knuckles. "She's gone, Krayonder, not dead. Do you think she'd be happy to see you destroying yourself?"

He didn't respond. Taz cuffed him on the ear. "Go clean jourself up, Ensign, and stop being estupido. Take jour anger and prove to Space Claw that you de best damn Ranger he's ever seen." She slid her small hand into Up's and dragged the mustached Commander away. He gave Krayonder a brief shrug and let himself be carried away. Krayonder winced. They were right, of course. If Specs was here, she'd scold him harshly for what he'd done, then wrap his hands up in bandages and give him a kiss.

But she wasn't here.

Krayonder grabbed his things from the floor and stormed out of the gym.

One week he'd been fuming and fighting anything he could get his hands on. He didn't know what else to do! Her words echoed in his ears. "Be good."

How?

He thought about what Taz had said. The best damn Ranger Space Claw had ever seen, huh? Then, he supposed, that was what he'd do. With a new goal in mind, Krayonder walked back to his empty quarters for a cold shower and a good meal. Tomorrow he'd start, he thought. Tomorrow, he'd train harder than ever before, and when Specs came back, she'd have something to be proud of.


	12. Chapter 12

A torrent of orange rain beat against the observatory's high glass ceiling. Specs sat in her chair, spinning idly to and fro, holding the picture of Krayonder and herself in her hands. A knock on the door woke her from her reverie.

"Lunch, Cap'n Specs," Jarvis said with a smile, disappearing back out of sight. Specs sighed, and slid the photo into her breast pocket. She got up and walked out of the little room, careful not to bump the highly important telescope on her way out. The long silver contraption had been pretty much useless when Specs had come, but she'd fixed it up all right, just following orders. The base was mounted into an old computer bank, and took up most of one wall. Now it gleamed, the chrome surface tight and sturdy as though it were made yesterday. It still pointed out at the stars, watching for nothing, just like it had before Space Claw had given her this stupid mission. Specs wound her way down the spiral staircase into the cramped kitchen. Hashka was sitting at the table. She beamed up at Specs as she entered, a plate full of spaghetti in front of her. Jarvis squeezed in next to the ensign. His hand brushed hers, and they both turned scarlet. Hashka tugged her hand into her lap with a squeak, and Jarvis cleared his throat loudly.

Specs couldn't help but smile. They reminded her so much of herself and Krayonder. Sure they'd had a rocky start, living alone here for four months had incited some animosity between them, but when Specs had put a stop to the insults, the rudeness gave way to a more gentle nature in both ensigns. In month three of her mission, Specs had walked by the door of the sick bay and seen Hashka bandaging Jarvis' cut hand. She paused, unnoticed, and watched.

"You really should be more careful," the mousy girl had warned.

"You're the one who asked me to open the jar of pickles. I expected it to be stuck."

"You broke the jar."

"The lid was loose! I didn't calculate for that when figuring out how much force to use!"

Hashka blushed, her eyes focused on wrapping up his hand. Jarvis gave her fingers a squeeze, and she jumped.

"Relax, Hash… I'm only teasing." Jarvis had given her a smile, and Specs had decided to leave before she intruded anymore into their privacy.

It gave her great pains to watch them. She preferred to spend her time alone up in the observatory. She'd fiddle with the telescope, trying to make it perfect. She'd already fixed everything else in this stupid place… All the doors, furniture, and appliances were now in working condition, if still a little rusty.

Specs spent most of her time thinking of home. She knew she should at least try and distract herself, but it was just so damn hard! At night the stars twinkled so beautifully… Specs would lay on her back and just look up through the glass dome. She'd wonder if he was orbiting one of those little points of light; if he was looking at those same stars and thinking of her. Space Claw had conveniently decided that the moon base was now a "top priority," and that all communications needed a clearance level of Commander or above. She couldn't even send a message to Krayonder telling him she was alright. Total radio silence.

Plate of spaghetti in hand, Specs sat down opposite the young ensigns. They had no idea that she suspected anything, but the shy looks on their faces at this moment would have been enough to tell her everything even if she had been clueless.

After just one bite, the red light on the wall began to flash and a loud droning echoed through the hallways. The telescope had picked up something. Specs rushed to beat either of the ensigns to the staircase. That alarm was the only source of excitement on this damn moon, Specs was going to get there first! Reaching the top, she slid into her chair and began plunking away at the keys.

Something was in orbit… something…

Specs felt the color draining from her face. She just stared at the screen, not wanting to believe her eyes. The fork, which Specs didn't realize she had carried with her from the kitchen, clattered to the metal floor.

"JARVIS! HASHKA! NOW!" She screamed. Their footsteps on the metal staircase echoed loudly. The two came running into the room. "ROBOT CRUISER IN ORBIT!"

Hashka gasped and might have fallen over if Jarvis hadn't grabbed onto her shoulders. Robots this close to G.L.E.E. territory was unheard of.

"The-the rain… They can't come out in the rain," Jarvis stuttered, "Can they?"

"Under normal parameters, no, but the ship is descending on top of our location. I believe they intend to… drop in." Specs looked up at the glass ceiling and the ensigns' eyes followed hers. The outline of the ship was visible as it lowered from orbit. Now or never.

"Get yourselves into my shuttle, and get out of here. Fly as fast as you can to headquarters." Specs yanked open the closet and pulled out a massive zapper. She slid the strap over her head and right shoulder.

"But Specs-"

"No buts, ensign! My orders are to do whatever I can to prevent robots entering the territory. I'll fight them off as long as I can, you two get out of here."

"No," said Jarvis, clenching his fists. "I won't leave you here to fight alone. Hashka," he looked at the girl. Her eyes were full of a fire they'd never seen before.

"I'm staying too! We'll all fight!"

"I can't allow you two to risk your lives! You're young, just get out of here…"

"With all respect, Ensign First Class, you're only 4 or 5 years older than us. And if we all stay, we've got a better chance of getting you home to your husband."

Specs gave him a weak smile. These kids… they were good people. The computer monitor flashed and cried out a warning.

"MOONBASE BOUNDARIES HAVE BEEN BREACHED. 1,000 FEET AND COUNTING."

Specs pulled two more zappers from the cabinet and tossed them to her crew, along with gas masks. The moon's air was breathable, but not healthy.

"500 FEET." The computer voice called. Specs cleared off the metal tables and flipped them, creating a barrier across the entrance to the staircase. The cabinet with zappers and ammo was right next to them. The three took refuge behind the tables, crouching, their zappers aimed.

"It's been an honor," Specs said. Jarvis nodded, Hashka sniffed.

The computer continued to call out as the glass shattered and several large robots landed in the observatory. Specs let out a war cry as she squeezed the trigger, her zapper firing jets of bright red light at the invaders. The two younger ensigns started firing as well, but neither of them was very experienced. Within a few minutes, Specs had taken one robot down with a shot to the microprocessor, and had another one spinning in circles from a damaged sensory drive.

There were still three, and they were only about ten feet from the tables. One walked over and grabbed Hashka, picking her up like a doll. She screamed, and Specs tried to shoot off the arm. Her zapper was running out of juice.

The next thing she knew, Jarvis was flying over the tables, had climbed up the robot's other arm, and had jammed the tip of his gun under the robot's chest plate. He fired, and with a crunching sound, the robot crumpled and Hashka dropped to the floor. Jarvis scooped her up in his arms and was down the stairs in seconds. He reappeared almost immediately.

_He must have stashed her in the kitchen. What a brave kid. _

Specs returned her attention to the two remaining robots. She could tell they were growing impatient with how long this was taking. One of them was hunched over the computer, its finger in the info drive. Specs had spent months in this room, nine of them to be precise, and she knew every weak spot in the whole system. Aiming her zapper a rusty spot, she fired. The paneling of the computer was blown open. With one more shot, the computer would explode and take out the last two robots. The only problem was that the force of the blast would kill her, too.

It was their only chance.

"Sorry," Specs said as she shoved the butt of her gun into Jarvis's gut. He toppled backwards down the stairs.

The two robots were walking towards her. It was now or never. Specs screwed up her face and whispered, "I'm sorry Krayonder." She pulled the trigger and watched the jet of red light go through the hole into the wiring of the computer. There was a deafening crash and an explosion of light- Then Specs saw nothing at all.

* * *

><p>Krayonder was in the gym, surrounded by his old friends from the Academy, when he felt it. A sharp pain in his chest. For a moment he wondered if his dismal eating habits were causing a heart attack…<p>

No, this was something more. Krayonder dropped from the chin-up bar, hand on his heart. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. It was bad enough that he couldn't talk to her when he wanted to, but now he NEEDED to.

He rushed from the gym. Something was amiss, he could feel it. Up had clearance to contact the moon base, if he could just get to Up… He hit something In his focus, he had walked directly into the very man he was looking for.

"Pardon me, Krayonder…"

"COMMANDER! I need to call the moon base!" Krayodner said, grabbing him by the black straps on his uniform.

"Erm, Krayonder you know I'm not supposed to-"

"This is different, Up. Something's wrong."

"Krayonder, I can't-"

"Please, Up. If something's happened to her, something bad… I need to know." He looked up into those clear blue eyes, hoping that the old man wouldn't choose now to turn his back on love.

"Oh, aright! Stop lookin' at me like that! Come on," he said, lowering his voice.

They walked to Up's office, Krayonder's body humming with excitement. Up pushed a few buttons on the viewscreen, but nothing happened. He twitched his mustache.

"That's odd… There's no answer."

Krayonder swallowed hard. No answer. He sat down on the edge of the desk. Why didn't she answer?

"Don't get too worked up, Ensign, they might just be having dinner."

But Krayonder didn't hear him. No answer. He looked out Up's window into the starry sky.

_Where are you?_ He thought. _Why won't you answer? Are you alright?_ _Where are you, baby?_

* * *

><p>Specs woke up with a pounding headache. She tried to sit up, but a hand on her shoulder pushed her back down. As she opened her eyes, the ceiling of the sick bay started to swim into view.<p>

"Specs, can you hear us? Are you alright?" Specs opened her mouth to speak, but it hurt. Her tongue was painfully dry, her throat ached. "Get her some water, Hash. Alright, I'm going to help you sit up slowly." She felt Jarvis pull her up. Specs felt the room spinning. She blinked a few times, and looked around.

Hashka pressed a cup to her lips and Specs drank the water gratefully.

"Specs, you are one tough son of a bitch," Jarvis laughed. "The force of the explosion YOU created sent the ammo cabinet flying into you. It shielded you from the blast and knocked you down the stairs. You survived! You landed on top of me, and my stomach still hurts, by the way, but you survived!" Specs smiled weakly. She sized herself up. A few cuts and scratches, but no breaks. Her uniform was stained with patches of blood here and there, but if that was the worst, Specs couldn't be happier.

"Alright," she croaked, "get me a new uniform, and prepare the shuttle with a week's worth of provisions. We're getting out of here."

"Specs, I don't think-"

"I'm still in charge, aren't I? Don't worry Jarvis, you can fly. I'll be a good passenger, but we are getting out of here."

He knew he couldn't change her mind.

An hour later, they were all strapped in, preparing for take-off. Jarvis took the pilot's chair, and Specs sat as his co-pilot. As they broke orbit, Specs looked around. No sign of robot ships anywhere. Her fingers flew over the comms panel.

"Starship 15-A2, this is the crew of Shuttle 13. Do you read?"

"Specs?" a familiar voice crackled over the radio. Specs' heart skipped a beat.

"Krayonder?"

"Lazy punk won't get out of my office! This is Commander Up, Specs. What happened? Why didn't you pick up at the base?"

"Commander, my mission with the telescope has come to an end. As the telescope has been destroyed, there's no point in our staying behind. There was a robot attack on the base."

"Robots? Are you ok-"

"Dead God Damnit, Krayonder, shut up!"

Specs laughed to herself.

"Robots, Specs? Is your crew alright?"

"No serious injuries. We'd sure like to come home, Commander."

"I think under the circumstances, I can have the ship on course to meet you immediately. We'll be there in twelve hours. Krayonder, go change our course." Specs heard her husband run from the room. "I also think that, under the circumstances, you deserve a promotion. How does Lieutenant sound?"

"Coming from your mouth, sir, it sounds like quite an honor."

"Aw, shucks. Well, that's done. We'll see you soon. Oh, Specs?"

"Yes sir?"

"…Welcome home."

"Thank you, sir." Her voice cracked. Specs clicked off the comms panel. She felt tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She looked over at Jarvis and Hashka. They smiled at her, and she noticed that they were holding hands. Good for them.

Home. She was going home. Specs looked at the stars as the little shuttle rocked back and forth, headed slowly but surely towards the coordinates they had received from the Starship. She couldn't believe it. Nine months, five robots, two crewmen, and finally, FINALLY, she was going home.


	13. Chapter 13

The shuttle landed with many loud creaks and groans inside the Starship's shuttle bay. As the door slid open and the ramp slid down to the floor, Specs could hear the ship's crew cheering. No one could believe that a nerd like her had fought off Robots and won from an observatory on an uninhabited moon, but Specs had done it. Head held high, she walked down the ramp followed by Jarvis and Hashka, her two squirrelly companions of the nine months she'd been gone.

He was standing right in front. Fists clenched by his side, his face a mixture of relief, excitement, and agony. Specs could tell he wanted to run to her, but felt restrained by the surging crowd. Them and Dr. Space Claw, who was waiting at the bottom of the ramp.

A deep, hearty laugh rang out from beneath the hood that masked Space Claw's face.

"Lieutenant Krayonder, we're so glad to see you've returned safely! What a joyous day for all of us. If you'll follow me-"

Specs didn't say anything. She walked right past him, not even pretending to acknowledge whatever ridiculous order of pomp and circumstance he was going to command her to do. Jaw held tight, Specs walked right towards Krayonder. She wanted to run as fast as possible, to end this time apart as quickly as she could, but she felt the eyes of the crowd on her.

_Fuck them, _said a voice in her head as she made eye contact with Krayonder, _He's your husband. Go._

She felt her feet running underneath her. Krayonder broke into a run at the same time. When the ground between them was nonexistent, Spec jumped. He caught her in his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her lips on his, her eyes squeezed shut, she felt her heart surge with joy as the Rangers nearby laughed and whistled, jaws hanging wide. Krayonder's tongue begged entrance, and she opened her mouth wider, letting him in.

Everything about him felt like fire to her. His hands on her back, his lips on hers; just the feeling of being with him again made her feel combustible. After a few moments, Specs forced herself to pull away. This was not the place. Panting, she dropped nimbly to the ground and grimaced as she uncoiled her arms from around his neck. She grabbed one of his hands tightly in her own and began walking towards the doors.

"Lieutenant Krayonder!" called a gravelly voice from next to the shuttle, but she ignored it. Space Claw started after her, but Jarvis and Hashka quickly leapt in front of him, distracting him with questions and chattering away about reports and formalities. She'd have to thank them later. Specs slipped through the door into the abandoned hallway.

She couldn't wait another second, and apparently neither could he. Krayonder was pushing her into the wall, his lips on hers, kissing her messily and lovingly and passionately. "I missed you," he breathed, his hands finding their way to her ass.

"Same," she whispered, her hands winding through his hair. She kissed him more fervently, her hips reaching out towards his, begging for his familiarity. "Bedroom," she panted between kisses, not sure if they would make it that far.

"Let's go," Krayonder said grabbing her hand. He took off at a sprint towards their quarters. Specs had forgotten how far away they lived.

Finally they reached their destination and Krayonder pulled her inside, his hands already tugging at her shirt. Specs pulled him into the back room, noticing from the corner of her eye that the apartment was unusually clean for being essentially a bachelor pad for the last nine months. _He cleaned, _she thought, _that adorable man._

Shirts off, skin touching, hands wandering, Specs could barely contain herself. The sight of his bare chest sent her head reeling. _Oh god, I forgot how perfect he is. And he's been working out._

Soon they were under the covers. They didn't waste a second in getting reacquainted. Spending months apart had really inspired them to make up for lost time.

After a few hours, they were both panting in a crumpled heap underneath the silk sheets. Specs had never felt so hot, she thought her soul must be burning at a 100 degrees Celsius.

"Woaaah," Krayonder breathed heavily, "That's a new record."

Specs, fingers splayed across his pec, nodded in agreement. "Definitely our best."

He kissed her neck, his hand sliding across her stomach. He tried to pull her close, but she resisted. Specs rolled onto her side and kissed him on the nose before wrapping a sheet around herself and walking, with extra swagger in her step, towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Krayonder asked, arching his eyebrows.

"To make you a sandwich. I need that thing up and running again in half an hour."

Krayonder laughed harder than he had in nine months. "Fuck woman, I missed you."

"I know," she said, dropping the sheet in the doorway. She walked into the kitchen, leaving Krayonder to stare at her ass.

It was great to be home.


	14. Chapter 14

Krayonder stared intently at the grape between his fingers. If he could make this shot, he would break his personal record. Opening his mouth wide, Krayonder flipped the grape into the air. Focus… focus...focu-

"KRAYONDER!"

The grape bounced off his forehead.

"Dammit! What is it, Specs?"

"Get in here!"

Krayonder got up and followed the sound of his wife's voice to the bathroom. Her tank top was pulled up, and she was holding a device the size of an egg against her stomach. Her hands were shaking. Specs looked at him, tears forming at her eyes.

"What's wrong? What is that thing?"

Specs bit her lip. Krayonder slid one hand around her shoulders and wiped her tears away. Taking a deep breath, Specs steadied herself to speak.

"It's a pregnancy test."

Krayonder's eyes opened wide, and his jaw dropped. "You mean… no… We're not…?"

Specs nodded, biting her lower lip. "We're pregnant… We're gonna have a baby…"

Krayonder flew forward. Specs threw her arms around his shoulders and he picked her up, spinning in a small circle. The little egg-shaped device clattered to the floor. He squeezed her tight. Setting her lightly down again, he dropped to his knees, putting his hands on her stomach. He looked up at her. "This is amazing… You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"We'll go see the doctor tomorrow to confirm… Oh my Dead God, Specs! A baby!"

He stood up and pulled her into another tight hug. Krayonder kissed her forehead and held her close.

"Wait a minute… It is mine, right?"

Specs pulled back from the hug and punched him in the arm. "Of course you big dummy!" She smiled.

"Well you were in deep space for almost a year, and you've only been back for a month!"

"And I'm about a month along," she said, smirking. "Remember the night I came back? Things got pretty hot pretty fast..."

"Oh, I remember," he said grinning. "Best damn night of my life."

"Best damn night of all our lives," she said, placing his hand on her stomach again. Krayonder looked at his hand, trying to comprehend what all this meant.

"But I thought it was going to take at least three years before this was possible?"

"I did too. Right before I left for the moon, the doctor started me on a fertility drug. She said it looked like the best option… I guess she was right."

Krayonder was looking at her like she was the most perfect person in the world.

"A baby, Specs…"

"I know," she smiled warmly, "I know."

Specs reached up, grabbed the back of his head, and pulled him in for a kiss.

This was the best day of her life. She was invincible. She could fight robots, she could beat Space Claw, and she could have a baby with her husband. Nothing could make her life any more perfect. Nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for all the reads and reviews! It means a lot to me. I am so glad to have had all the support while I wrote this story, and I think it has a nice end. Stupid is officially done. Thanks for everything. **


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